Bench brothers: How Pete DeBoer, Steve Spott created a lasting bond as coaches

It was in 1997 that Pete DeBoer asked Steve Spott for a favor.

In his third season with the Detroit/Plymouth Whalers of the Ontario Hockey League, DeBoer was in need of a second assistant coach. He and Spott had known each other since they were teens, and DeBoer really felt his friend could add just the right mix to the young team. But there was one problem – the amount of money he could offer for the job.

$15,000.

“It was poverty line pay,” DeBoer said. “It was all we had.”

Spott had played at Colgate and received his degree in education. He was a teacher at the time in Ontario, and the choice to stay or leave was a tough one.

“I think it’s in your blood, and I wanted to give it a go,” Spott said of the decision. “I was living in my parents’ basement at the time and Pete was kind enough to offer me $15,000 to take the job and I remember talking to my dad and he said you have to follow your heart. Thankfully, I did that.”

Almost three decades later, Spott and DeBoer are still together. They spent the first 10 years riding the buses in junior hockey, building a bond of trust that still stands to this day. DeBoer as the head coach, Spott as the assistant, but an immense amount of respect between the two.

“At that time, we were doing everything,” DeBoer recalled, likening Spott to Stars Director of Team Services Jason “Stretch” Rademan. “He was doing everything that Stretch does here for us – meals, postgame, hotels. We were picking up kids for school, meeting with billet families, calling curfew. It ended up being a two-man operation for a long time.”

The two have forged something special over the past 25-plus years. DeBoer credits his wife, Sue, and Spott’s wife, Lisa, for being the backbone to everything, and it’s clear the relationship goes far beyond hockey.

“We’re family members,” Spott said. “We’re godparents to each other’s kids, our kids are best friends, our wives are best friends. I think it’s just the comfort level of it.”

Now, the two have had to follow separate paths at times. DeBoer was named head coach of the Florida Panthers in 2008 and served in that role for three seasons. He followed that up by being named head coach of the New Jersey Devils for parts of four seasons. During that stretch, Spott took over as head coach in Kitchener (OHL) and then became head coach of the Toronto Marlies in the AHL. He also served one season as an assistant coach with the Toronto Maple Leafs.

The two were still great friends, and DeBoer said that time in their respective careers was probably good for them.

In 2015, DeBoer was named head coach of the San Jose Sharks, and he brought Spott with him.

“I think the time we were separated has made our bond stronger,” DeBoer said. “I think it was almost a necessity that he went on and ran his own program and then worked as an assistant coach with the Leafs. It was important that we both had different experiences, just to reset the appreciation we have for each other.”

And the appreciation is great. DeBoer considers Spott another head coach. Spott said he understands his role and has no problem following DeBoer’s lead.

“He sees things as a head coach and I see things as an assistant coach,” Spott said. “He has to look at the big picture and I have to dial into certain areas of the game. It works. The other part of that is he doesn’t micromanage. He’s always given me autonomy. He’s always made me feel like I was a head coach. And I’ve always appreciated that.”

Spott and Adam Graves grew up together in the Toronto area. DeBoer and Graves played together on the Windsor Spitfires in the late 1980s. As a result, DeBoer and Spott started hanging out together in the summer even though they were playing hockey in different leagues. So DeBoer knew quickly what kind of hockey mind Spott had. He said that was clear in Spott’s first season as an assistant coach.

“I quickly recognized how good a hockey coach he was, how good a communicator he was from his teaching background,” DeBoer said. “He was a great recruiter, he could talk a dog off a meat truck. He just had all of these great qualities I was looking for in an assistant coach.”

He still does. The two were together in San Jose for five seasons and posted a 198-129-34 record (.596) and a trip to the Stanley Cup Final in 2016. They moved onto Vegas together and went 98-50-12 (.650) with the Golden Knights, taking them to the Conference Final twice. In their two seasons with the Stars so far, they are 99-42-23 with one trip to the Western Conference Final already in the books and the opportunity for even more.

It’s a pretty good life, to put it plainly.

“We pinch ourselves every day,” Spott said. “We don’t work for a living, we’re very fortunate. And to do this, to do it together, to have our kids grow up together, it’s special.”

Stars forward Joe Pavelski was with the two in San Jose and said he’s always been impressed with their relationship.

“It’s a great friendship and a real passion for coaching,” Pavelski said. “I’ve learned a lot from these guys. I have nothing but respect for how they see the game and what they want to accomplish. They’re just good people. I enjoy coming to the rink and seeing them and having conversations, all of those types of things.”

DeBoer and Spott love to attend concerts together and Spott said the talk off the ice rarely turns to hockey. He said that’s something that has become pretty easy after all of these years together.

“When he gets angry with me or I get angry with him, it never goes home,” Spott said. “The frustration is over winning and you have to be able to separate that and not take any situation personally.”

Well, except for the positive situations.

“I would call it a brotherhood,” DeBoer said. “Like brothers, we can have our battles and our fights, but there is such a mutual respect and love underneath that, we always seem to make it work.”

This story was not subject to the approval of the National Hockey League or Dallas Stars Hockey Club.

Mike Heika is a Senior Staff Writer for DallasStars.com and has covered the Stars since 1994. Follow him on Twitter @MikeHeika.