Hockey Moms: An Instant Bond | FEATURE

Although the Moms' Suite at Prudential Center was chatty, there was very little that needed to be said amongst the Devils' moms on Thursday night to know that they all share a deep bond. Most didn't know each other, but crossing through that threshold into the lounge, you’d never know it. It was like running into old friends reuniting.

They all get each other.

“Being here with all these moms, all these moms understand,” Lisa Cotter, Paul’s mom, said. “They understand when we're watching the game, we don't have to look at each other. It's okay. It's not rude. It is unbelievable.”

There is something profoundly unique about being a hockey mom and seeing your son reach the pinnacle of success. They could all sit side-by-side in their seats, have full conversations and not once look at each other; instead, their eyes locked on their son and the game that has brought them all together.

“I think being here, when you see a player, your son do certain things on the ice… like one of the moms earlier, her son kind of missed a pass, and they just put their arm around you," Cotter added. "It's just we all feel the same way, like when we talk, and it's amazing to hear the journeys. Every guy has a different journey to get here, and they’re the Pied Pipers, and we are just following along while they're following their dream.”

As the clock began to countdown to puck drop against Carolina, the suite began to fill up. Some arrived in bunches, others individually, but with every arrival there was a rousing hello from everyone, and handshakes quickly turned into hugs.

“There’s an instant bond,” Nathan Bastian’s mom, Rhonda, said, “because we all know what each other have been through to get to this point, you’re on an equal playing field. We’re all in the same boat at the end of the day, we’ve all had the same challenges, highs, lows through the sport and the relationships. I think that’s why it’s so easy. That’s certainly why I feel that way.”

"We all kind of live the same life, and we get it," Jamie, Stefan Noesen's mom, said. "Everybody's like, 'God, you all kind of get me and you don't even know me.'"

It's a unique type of shared experience between hockey parents. Each of their son's paths has been different, but the time and family sacrifice is very likely a parallel emotional experience. And the emotion certainly comes out on a Moms' Trip. There are a lot of happy tears being shed when they're asked about their sons.

Lisa Cotter gazes over the ice surface as her son zips by on the ice.

“It's more than just watching a game,” she said. “You're dying to see that little boy who loves the game, because of what that does to you; it's so inspiring. It makes you happy. If you're happy, he's happy, if he's sad, you're sad. And so we just live for those moments, right? And being here with all these moms, all these moms understand.”

They understand too, that their bond is rooted in this game that their sons have committed every bit of their lives to from such a young age. While the boys' lives are dominated by hockey, so too has their parents. It is a full-family experience that those who don't live it day-in and day-out might not be able to understand.

They don't have to feel like they have to explain themselves.

"It's kind of nice," Jamie, who moved from Texas to Michigan to help Stefan chase his dream, added, "because really, for a long, long time, even like family did not understand, like 'Why would you move to Michigan? Why would you do that?' and these people, they get it. I mean, they did it."

A day after their sons' big victory against the Carolina Hurricanes, the moms gathered Friday morning for breakfast together before their sons took to the ice for practice. The hockey talk continued and no one felt out of place.

"It is so fun," Karin Bratt, Jesper's mom, said of feeling like they are all instant friends. "Otherwise, when you are with your friends at home, you cannot sit and talk about hockey and stuff because then you're awkward and boring. But now, it's allowed and everyone has been through the same emotions when they were younger; it's been good times and bad times. This is a big support for me, too. They're great. Everybody is great."

There is a lot of emotion behind a moms' trip. It's not just about spending time with the other moms but also extra one-on-one time with their sons that they so rarely get, if ever, during the hockey season.

"I think it's amazing," Ellen Hughes, mom to Jack and Luke said. "Who gets to go to work with your kids? What a blessing. Just to be a part of this is incredible, and it's incredible for all the moms, and we're so thankful to the organization, to the ownership, to the management and coaching staff and all the players to bring us along."

A trip like this gives the moms a glimpse of what their sons' experience on a day-to-day basis and when they're back at home, as Cotter explains, you can feel a little closer because you have the full perspective of what your son is experiencing.

"Now, when he says he's going to a game, I know where he's walking in. I can visualize," she said. "I think all of us moms are visualizing what our sons are doing right now. I see where he's walking in, I see where he eats, I see where he parks his car. That's just powerful, it makes you feel closer to him. I am shoulder-to-shoulder with him these few days together."

"It's very special," Katja Hischier said. "Because I know he has worked so hard, but now, I see what he does every day, exactly, and the time he puts (in)."

It puts things in perspective, too, said Karin Bratt. It develops an even deeper respect for their children who have spent their lives putting in the work to get to this point and continue to do so at the highest level.

"I learned the life they live; I could never, ever do that," she said. "Because you have to be so structured, to eat right and sleep right, to like the right mood all the time."

It also brings back a lot of memories.

Like all those early morning car rides, shuttling their kids to practice every day. Now, the roles are reversed. Mom gets to relax in the passenger seat, but the emotion of it all hits hard. Nearly every mom spoke about making the drive from their son's homes to Prudential Center on Thursday's game day against Carolina.

"It was so great," Karin said. "I especially loved the car ride; you remember all those times."

"I told him, 'Oh my gosh, Paul, it's like old times, except you're driving! This is great,'" Lisa laughed, sharing her experience of driving to the rink. "It's like old times, and I was talking, talking, talking. You could tell he's like, 'Mom, please stop.' I guess he's not used to that (on his drive in)."

But that's what moms are for, right?

The moms clearly brought their boys some good luck, too. Their sons put up two massive divisional victories, one against the Hurricanes and the other against the Capitals in Washington. That's just the icing on the cake of a special weekend with their sons.

And now, as the trip comes to a close, they'll all head back to their homes all across the world with a bucket full of memories of uniquely special times with their sons and 20 new friends who, well, all get each other.

"What's gonna be so special is many of us have already gotten kind of close, and we're gonna contact each other, and, you know, send messages like 'Great game,' or 'Oh, your son had a great game,'" Cotter beamed.

"I think we need that, to have people that understand. It's wonderful."