Bettman's 30 years as NHL Commissioner built on family, loyalty

Gary Bettman reached the 30th anniversary of his first day as NHL Commissioner on Wednesday.

Officially, anyway.
"The first day wasn't even really the first day," his wife, Shelli Bettman, said.
Bettman set the tone for the next three decades the moment he was elected Commissioner at the Board of Governors meeting in Palm Beach, Florida, on Dec. 11, 1992. He started working on the NHL, even if technically he wasn't working for the League yet.
While finishing up as senior vice president and general counsel of the NBA, he studied big black binders stuffed with information about the NHL. He carried them back to the Bettmans' house in New Jersey and to their vacation home in Vermont.
He did interviews, made calls and held meetings about the NHL. At the NBA office, across the street from the NHL office in New York at the time, he prepared for the NHL All-Star Game in Montreal to be held five days after he took office.
When the time came to move from the NBA to the NHL on Feb. 1, 1993, he was more than ready.
"We hit the ground running," said Debbie Jordan, his assistant at the NBA and the NHL. "We left on a Friday, and we started Monday, Feb. 1, and we just kept going from there."
They're still going.
Bettman has matched his mentor, David Stern, the NBA commissioner from 1984-2014. He's on the verge passing Clarence Campbell, the NHL President from 1946-77, to become the longest-serving top executive in pro sports history.

To mark the anniversary, NHL.com asked Shelli Bettman, his wife of 47 years, and Jordan, his assistant for 40, to share their unique perspectives of him at home and at the office. They painted a picture of him the public rarely gets to see.
Bettman is a lawyer who serves his clients. He makes decisions he believes are in their best interests, even if it makes him a lightning rod for criticism. He is a chief executive who holds the highest standards.
The 70-year-old loves his job, seems to have endless energy and has given no indication he'll retire anytime soon. He takes phone calls at all hours, watches games on multiple TV screens at home and travels all over the continent.
"If an owner asks him to do something, he will do it; if a partner asks him to do something, he will do it," Jordan said. "He makes himself available no matter what. I do tell people, 'Ask me, because I'm the one that's going to say no.' He will never say no. He is unbelievable like that."
Behind the scenes, Bettman leans on his wife personally and professionally, and he's a family man. The Bettmans tried to make life as normal as possible for their children when they were growing up. Now all three of their children are married with families of their own, and the Bettmans have seven grandchildren, all of whom live within 30 minutes of them in New Jersey.
They once had an apartment in Manhattan so Bettman would have a place to crash close to the office, but he didn't like to stay there. No matter where he travels, he often flies home at the end of the day, even if that means tiptoeing into the house in the wee hours of the morning.
"He doesn't see anything beneficial in staying in a hotel overnight and getting up early the next morning," Shelli Bettman said. "He just wants to come home. He's always been like that."

NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman and Bill Daly, his Deputy Commissioner for the past 26 years, meet the media at the 2022 NHL All-Star Game in Las Vegas. Getty Images
In Bettman's inner circle, loyalty goes both ways. He has stayed tight with a crew of his fraternity brothers from Cornell. Deputy Commissioner Bill Daly (26), senior executive vice president of hockey operations Colin Campbell (24) and assistant Jackie Ferrantino (16) are among those who have been with him for many years.
"The people who work with him closely, a lot of them don't leave," Shelli Bettman said.
Jordan was in the middle of answering a question about Bettman when her computer pinged.
"He is the best at what he does," she was saying. "I mean, you should ask him how he learned to be so good. I respect him, obviously. I wouldn't be with him if I didn't respect him."
Ping.
"Sorry, that's Gary," she interrupted. "He keeps sending me emails. That's why you're hearing that."
She laughed.
"He does the best job that he can, and he makes decisions based upon what the best is for the League," she continued. "I can't tell you how much I do respect him."
* * * * *
In his Hockey Hall of Fame induction speech Nov. 12, 2018, Bettman said serving as Commissioner was more of a lifestyle than a job, requiring an extraordinary level of support at home.

During his Hockey Hall of Fame induction speech in 2018, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman said his wife, Shelli, 'is our family glue, particularly when I'm traveling, or more important, when I'm here but I'm not really here, because I'm distracted. She keeps my life and our family running.' Getty Images
Referring to his family, he made a point of calling it "our life."
"Shelli makes it all work," Bettman told the audience. "She is a phenomenal wife, mother and grandmother, and she covers my disappearing acts and my frequent acts of parental and family malpractice. She is our family glue, particularly when I'm traveling, or more important, when I'm here but I'm not really here, because I'm distracted. She keeps my life and our family running.
"She is everything I could want in a life partner. She gives me the deepest love and support, literally beyond belief, and she is incredibly smart and strong and provides me with the strength to do what I do, especially when I have to make hard, and sometimes unpopular, decisions.
"It's probably no coincidence that she was a psychotherapist, because she is great at keeping my head on straight and right-sized."
The audience laughed.
"In short," he said, "she is what makes me tick, and [she] knows what makes me tick."
They met at a party at Bettman's fraternity, Alpha Epsilon Pi, in the fall of 1971. He was a 19-year-old sophomore at Cornell; she was a 17-year-old in her first week on campus. She called her mother soon afterward and said she had met the guy she was going to marry.
"I knew," she said. "It was just right."
After he graduated in 1974 and she in 1975, they got married Aug. 24, 1975.
Shelli Bettman built her own career. She earned a master's in social work, became a certified alcoholism counselor and worked as a psychotherapist for 11 years, until their youngest child was born prematurely. They needed a parent to be available at the time, and Bettman was working at the NBA.
"It wasn't a sacrifice," Shelli Bettman said. "It was just a decision we had to make."
Meanwhile, she helped him build his career -- from law school to a law firm to the NBA to the NHL. It's not that he has asked her for advice here and there. It's that he has involved her in everything, valuing her opinion.
"We're both very smart, and we both respect each other's intelligence tremendously, and we play off of one another," she said. "… He'll listen to me, and he'll tell you he never wants to come up against me in any kind of negotiation. I know way too much."
Bettman will tell you that when he was studying for the bar, his wife probably could have passed it, because they talked about the material all the time, she tested him on it and she learned it along the way.
When he was considering leaving the NBA for the NHL, he called her at 2 a.m. one night to tell her he was unsure it was the right move. She told him that if he didn't want to do it, he shouldn't. And when he took the job, she was behind him then too.
"I knew he would be fine," she said. "Listen, he's super bright. He's super ambitious. He's an incredibly hard worker. I wasn't worried. It was scary, but it wasn't scary."
They have talked hockey constantly ever since. They watch games together. He often takes calls with her in the room, in the car, at dinner or wherever they happen to be.
"There are some times that he'll come home and say, 'I'm going to say this and this at a press conference,' and I just look at him and laugh, and I say, 'No, you're not,'" she said. "Sometimes if he's upset about something and he's writing an email, he'll say to me, 'Just read this and see if I need to tone it down,' and I'll read it.
"In the end, he's the Commissioner, I'm not, and I get that, and I don't mean that badly. It's just, in the end, he's got to do what he thinks is right. … You can argue with him about whether or not it's right or wrong, but he's doing it from a good place. He's really, truly always doing it because he thinks it's the right decision to make."
* * * * *
Bettman mentioned Jordan in his Hockey Hall of Fame induction speech, pointing out how long she had worked with him and joking her prison sentence wasn't up yet. He said she "keeps the League office and me on track."

Debbie Jordan, Gary Bettman's longtime assistant at the NBA and NHL, says the Commissioner makes himself available to owners and partners, 'no matter what. He's unbelievable like that.'
Jordan became Bettman's assistant in December 1982, when he was assistant general counsel at the NBA. At first, her duties were secretarial: taking dictation, typing letters, answering phones, filing expense reports. Some might think Bettman would be a difficult person for whom to work.
"Well, I think a little differently," Debbie said. "Gary can be difficult in some ways, but I never felt that he was unreasonably difficult. He wants you to be the best that you can be, and he strives for that."
Over time, Jordan's role grew at the NBA. She worked on the All-Star Game and international events, handling tickets and hotel contracts.
"I learned a lot working under various people's tutelage, but Gary gave me the ability to do that, because he was my boss," she said. "He could have said, 'No, I want her to do this strictly,' and he never did that. He always gave me opportunity, which I appreciated, because you did learn a lot. You went on the road. You traveled.
"It was a really good time. I had a great time being at the NBA. I really did."
When Bettman decided to leave for the NHL, Jordan was unsure if she wanted to go too, even though she was a huge hockey fan. It was a big change and a big challenge. The NHL office didn't have overhead lights then. No one worked after dark. Bettman had to raise the standard and modernize the operation.
Jordan spoke to Stern about the potential move multiple times and even asked if she could come back to the NBA if she didn't like the NHL. He said she could, though in another capacity.
"Shelli called me and said, 'Deb, if you don't go, I'm going to have to work for Gary, and you know that's not going to work,'" Jordan said with a laugh.
Jordan ended up writing a list of pros and cons on paper.
"The biggest pro was working with Gary," Jordan said. "I enjoyed working with Gary. I enjoyed his work ethic. He gave me opportunities. I learned a lot from him."
Jordan decided to follow Bettman to the NHL. On their first day, she didn't know how to use the computers at the NHL office, so she went back to the NBA office to type up his itinerary. Otherwise, she didn't need to accept Stern's offer.
She is now executive vice president of administration and human resources, plus executive assistant to the Commissioner. In other words, she oversees the NHL office, the HR department and the Commissioner's office.
"I enjoy the work, the job that I do," she said. "I enjoy working with Gary. I wouldn't be here, nor would I be where I am in my job progression, had it not been for Gary.
"He gives me a lot of things to do, and he expects me to do them, and he gives me the ability to make decisions. He doesn't micromanage me at all. He says, 'Deb, I need to do this,' and he just says, 'Do it,' and that's what you do. That has given me the opportunity to learn different things and to manage."
Jordan compared Bettman to the Energizer Bunny.
"He thinks this is very exciting," she said. "He loves it. He loves it. He loves being on the road. He loves doing all these things. That's who he is. He just loves it.
"After [the NHL emerged from its COVID-19 pause], he said to me, 'This is great. We're getting back on the road. We're back.' He just was so excited about that. I look at him and go, 'You're out of your mind.'"
She laughed.
"I don't think anybody can keep up with him," she said. "He just keeps going, going, going."
* * * * *
The NHL has changed dramatically over the past 30 years. Before Bettman took over, the League had annual revenues of about $450 million and no salary cap. It was in the process of expanding to 26 teams. Now it is approaching annual revenues of $6 billion with a stable economic system for 32 teams.

Shane Wright is welcomed to the NHL by Commissioner Gary Bettman after being selected by the Seattle Kraken, the 32nd and newest franchise, at the 2022 NHL Draft in Montreal. Getty Images
Bettman has changed some too. His wife said that during the COVID-19 pandemic, she spent more time with him than she had since college, and he learned that if he works outside of the office for a day, the world won't end.
"He's less stressed about the things that he doesn't need to really stress about," she said. "He doesn't care less. He just has a little less agita, because he's still doing what he's doing, he does it well, he's going to continue to do it well, but he just doesn't worry about it in the same way."
Bettman's NHL legacy is secure, but …
"His legacy is really our family," his wife said. "We're very proud of our kids. We're really proud of our kids. They're not spoiled brats. They're just not. I would never have tolerated it."
When their children were growing up, the Bettmans would tell them that Daddy loves his job, works hard and has what he has because of it, but that doesn't make him any different than anyone else.
They tried to keep their children out of the public eye. Shelli Bettman said when her husband was at the NBA, a news story mentioned he was unavailable because their son had his tonsils out, and she was upset at the unnecessary detail. After they allowed a TV interview at their house after he was elected Commissioner, they decided they would never do that again.
"I didn't ever want life to be any harder than it had to be for my kids because of what he did," she said. "We were choosing to do this as adults, but they weren't choosing. They had to come along for the ride."
The Bettmans sent their children to public school. Each of their children ended up graduating from their alma mater, and two of their spouses did too. But though the Bettmans were donors, they never allowed Cornell to acknowledge it until after their children had graduated.
"I think I have three very well adjusted, successful, happy, healthy kids that all have their own families," Shelli Bettman said. "I have a daughter that's married almost 20 years already. That's incredible to me."
The Board of Governors established the Gary B. Bettman '74 Sports Management Scholarship and the Gary B. Bettman '74 Sports Management Fund at Cornell on Dec. 20.
The scholarship will provide assistance to students with financial need. The fund will support the development of a sports/entertainment management course and guest lectures.
Bettman will tell you he is not one for retrospectives, but his wife said he was proud Dec. 11 when their 16-year-old grandson, a high school hockey player, called to ask if he knew what day it was. It was the 30th anniversary of the day he was elected Commissioner.
"He says, 'Do you realize we started out as two people and now we're 15?'" Shelli Bettman said. "He thinks that's the coolest thing of all, because that's what it's about."
Top photo: NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman and his wife, Shelli Bettman, attend an NHL game. Getty Images