STAMFORD, Conn. -- Rob Thorsen knew there would be that moment once it hit him.
Whether it was someone he'd see, or something said, it was going to release every emotion he's carried inside him since the absolute worst day of his life.
"The things that you can plan for, you can manage," Thorsen said inside an empty Terry Conners Rink hours before the inaugural Shoulder Check Showcase on Thursday. "It's the unexpected things that get you. Someone's going to say something that's amazing that I didn't expect, that will be when that emotional moment comes. Otherwise, it's going to be just really trying to enjoy everything that we've done here."
Three hours later, a gathering of NHL players, a handful from the New York Rangers, took the Shoulder Check Pledge to begin the first fundraiser for Rob's son Hayden Thorsen, a 16-year-old sophomore goalie at Darien High School who played for the Junior Rangers in the Mid Fairfield Youth Hockey Association.
Hayden was an effervescent teammate and friend whose wellness doctrine was a tap of the shoulder, his death by suicide May 21, 2022, leaving a community in shock.
Once emcee Dave Maloney asked fans to raise their left hand and place it on the right shoulder of the person next to them and make a promise, there was healing and hope.
"Reach out. Check In. Make Contact."
The moment had hit Rob Thorsen.
"It just couldn't be going any better," Rob said. "I can't say enough. Amazing. I think right now Hayden would be saying, 'Let's see the game.'"
The game was a scrimmage featuring players from the NHL, overseas and professional women's hockey players. Proceeds from tickets, merchandise and a raffle went to the HT40 Foundation, which, like Hayden, has brought people together through kindness and compassion.
The Shoulder Check is something everyone can do, in the locker room, on the ice, in everyday life.
"It's a small thing, but it's a big thing," Rangers forward Chris Kreider said. "It's just reaching out. It's a difficult world for kids to grow up in now, and I think doubly so for young athletes. Sometimes there could be this hypermasculine identity associated with athletics and playing through stuff, whether it be physical or mental. Being a man and being mature is about talking about feelings. It's about looking out for the people around you. It's a small thing but in the long run, very big."
Anaheim Ducks forward Trevor Zegras knew Hayden only through his father, Gary Zegras, vice president of the Mid Fairfield Youth Hockey Association. One of the first to reach out to Rob after Hayden's death was Gary, who became one of the founding board members of the HT40 Foundation.
Trevor played for the Junior Rangers. He was teammates with future Florida Panthers goalie Spencer Knight -- another showcase participant -- on Mid Fairfield's under-16 and under-16 teams from 2015-17.
"It kind of opened my eyes hearing about his story and what he went through, and the people around him and the things that they had to say about Hayden," said Zegras, a native of Bedford, New York, about 30 minutes from Stamford. "Obviously, I was all for it when I heard about the idea and something I was pretty passionate about. It's a great motto to check in with your friends because you never really know what's going on with them."
The motto stemmed from tragedy, the concept of a game the brainchild of hockey trainer Ben Prentiss. Organization came together rapidly though support of the NHL, its teams and those not thinking twice about playing nearly six weeks before the start of training camp.
The execution was what Thorsen and his supporters hoped, a near-overflow crowd for the debut, the road toward future events paved though pitching theme nights with NHL teams and commitments to youth programs like the YMCA and Boys and Girls Clubs of America. Gary Zegras is often asked how one can help though monetary donations.
It's not all about raising money.
"All we ever asked anybody to do is spread the word," Gary said. "Take the pledge, make sure you share that with everybody. If you get your community, your school, your hockey organization involved, then this thing is going to spread like wildfire."
Show the check.
"Send the text, make the phone call," Thorsen said. "It's just reaching out, checking in on people. We don't have to be superfluous about it. We can have real conversations."
