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Legendary hockey reporter Stan Fischler writes a weekly scrapbook for NHL.com,. Fischler, known as "The Hockey Maven," shares his humor and insight with readers each Wednesday.
This week Fischler presents a humorous collection of quotes from assorted hockey personalities.

1. When Jacques Demers was coach of the Detroit Red Wings, he was asked if he'd be interested in trading his star center Steve Yzerman.
"That's like asking me if I'd trade my son Jason for the kid next door," Demers shot back.
2.After his team missed the Stanley Cup Playoffs in 1945-46, Toronto Maple Leafs manager Conn Smythe said he figured out how to produce a Cup-winner (which Toronto was in 1946-47).
Smythe said the formula went as follows, "Put the kids in with a few old pappy guys who still like to win and the combination is unbeatable."
3. Eddie Mio was a journeyman NHL goalie but he had many friends in the NHL. One of them was Wayne Gretzky. Here's what Mio said after "The Great One's" wedding:
"I'd like to thank Wayne for having me as his best man. I've had more press in the last 11 days than I did in the last 11 years!"
4. Charlie Bourgeois was a solid, serviceable defenseman for the St. Louis Blues in the 1980s and I enjoyed interviewing him because of his sense of humor. Here's what he said about the number on his jersey:
"I was going to ask for number 99, but they gave me number 4. Oh well, I guess they thought I played more like Bobby Orr than Wayne Gretzky anyway."
5. Star defenseman Borje Salming had the misfortune of playing for many poor Maple Leafs teams. Once he was asked how he'd feel if he was dealt to a playoff team.
"If I were traded to a contender, it would be like stealing from someone," Salming quipped.
6. When Gretzky was dealt by the Edmonton Oilers to the Los Angeles Kings it was called "The Trade Of The Century." Sportswriter Ken Denlinger studied the player exchange and offered this comment:
"Hell, Alaska went for less."
7. Hall of Famer Bill Gadsby played in the NHL for two decades. The defenseman had an interesting definition of his profession.
"You're not a hockey player until you've lost a few teeth," Gadsby said.
8. When Brian Burke was a Vancouver Canucks executive he lamented that his defensemen were not the quickest skaters.
"Three guys would have birthdays before we'd cross the red line," Burke mused.
9. There was one season when current Seattle Kraken general manager Ron Francis, then a talented center, was leading the NHL in scoring after the first week of the season. He had the following comment when confronted by reporters:
"Quick, draw me a finish line before the other guys catch up," Francis teased.
10. The immortal "Mister Hockey," Gordie Howe, had a quip for every occasion. He once was asked about the rough and tumble aspect of the game and his repsonse was downright biblical.
"It's better to give than receive!," Howe exclaimed.