"I've just been waking up after a couple hours and just staying up all night," Shaya said Wednesday afternoon. "The mental anguish that I went through -- when you conceal something for as long as you do from most people, it's really, really scary to then just go -- in one fell swoop -- 'I'm going to let everybody in on the news.'
"It's daunting, it's overwhelming, and you're also totally uncertain of how people will react to it."
The 40-year-old had contemplated making the decision for a while, watching as others in the sports and hockey worlds came out, including player agent Bayne Pettinger, NFL player Carl Nassib and NHL prospect Luke Prokop. On July 19, Prokop became the first player under contract to an NHL team to come out.
"My motive was twofold: to just be who I am. That's No. 1," Shaya said. "But No. 2 is I felt I had to do it in the manner in which I did it because I owed it to the next person. I think there's a real sense of duty to do that in a way that somebody can look at it and go, 'All right, I'm going to do it now.'
"And that happened because of other people before me."
He had a conversation with Pettinger at one point, with the agent telling him, "You're crazy not to do it. It'll be better for yourself, better for your well-being. I wish I would have done it five years ago."
That helped. So did Prokop's decision. So did a conversation last week with NHL senior director of player safety Patrick Burke, who co-founded You Can Play in 2012, and whose brother, Brendan, came out in 2009 as a manager of the Miami University (Ohio) hockey team.
"Because Luke was so prominent -- the first player, he's a draft pick -- and to see the support that he got, I was really in awe of it," Shaya said of Prokop, a 19-year-old defenseman who was selected by the Nashville Predators in the third round (No. 73) of the 2020 NHL Draft. "I was in awe because I was so happy for that kid. Thank God. In hindsight I'm thinking, of course people would be supportive. But you don't know that."