Red Deer with the Reindeer

"Take me to your Reindeer!" I shouted in my head cold congested nasal voice.
I was speaking to "Hannu", my Helsinki taxi driver sporting a Kansas City Chiefs hat.

Ah, it could've been the 34 straight hours since my follicle challenged head last saw a pillow in the horizontal position…or the semi-legal combination of chaotic cold medication, antacids…or maybe the delightful, yet hazy, breakfast of pickled Herring, warm potato salad, washed down with copious amounts of Prum Wehlener German Riesling.
As I watched the fresh arctic snow gently fall outside, I asked him, "Where is this Lapland?"
Lapland is home to a Christmas experience in northern Finland open almost year-round featuring reindeer, sleigh rides and of course, Santa Claus.
"I want to ride in Santa's sleigh with eight tiny Reindeer," I demanded.
Hannu reminded this clueless tourist that Finnish Reindeer are a "treasure" in Finland, and warned through his rear view mirror that because of their mating season, it's not possible.
"What is your name, and why does your business take you here?" Hannu asked.
"They call me Red Deer," I quickly responded. "I'm here broadcasting the NHL's Global series between the Florida Panthers and the Winnipeg Jets".
I asked him, "Do you know Patrick Laine and Aleksander Barkov?"
As his one hand steered his mid 90's Volkswagen van around in dizzying circles, his Euros meter spinning out of control like a hyper Argentinian slot machine, he exclaimed, "Yes, yes! Laine is my favorite! I know his family very well, but Barkov is going to be the better player."
"Are you going to the games here this week in Helsinki?", I asked him as my mud-soaked cab splashed more bundled up tourists along the Esplanadi Park cobble stone boulevard.
"No, I gave my brother Yuri my tickets," said Hannu. "He knows all the Finnish NHL players."
"Oh really?"
"I like the Panthers now," Hannu barks as flicks his what smells like a strong Turkish cigarette butt out his half rolled down fog infested driver side window. "Good Finnish defensemen on the power play, that's the Panthers strength!"
"Oh, you mean Pekka Raitakellio, and Ville Koistinen?", as I tried to hide my sly smile.
Koistinen played 17 games for the Panthers only during the 2009-10 season and actually scored the shootout game winner in Florida's first 2009 game against the Blackhawks in Helsinki.
And well, Rautakallio, his North American hockey journey wound through the Roadrunners of Phoenix (WHA) before patrolling the blue line for the Atlanta and Calgary Flames in the early 1980's.
"But what about the Reindeer?" I asked him again.
"It's mating season," he said. "We must leave the Reindeer be. Plus, my brother Sergei takes over my shift now."
"Your brothers names are Yuri and Sergei?" I inquired as I fumbled for the 47 Euros shown proudly on his taxi meter to satisfy my nauseous 11-minute downtown Helsinki tour to nowhere.
As I exited the cab, I asked him "Are you sure you are Finnish?"
With a smile and a wink as he drove off, Hannu quipped "That's what my passport says."
I think I'm ready for bed.